Theme of the Week –
Words Can Wound
Song of the Week –
Song Therapeutics Analysis-
Pink is one of my favorite female recording artists. With her deep, soulful voice, she infuses so much emotion into the lyrics of every song she sings. In addition, she is also known in her music community to be a dynamic songwriter of meaningful lyrics. Pink co-wrote this song, one that is quite emotionally painful, but, also, stands out as very honest. The primary focus of this song centers around regret, remorse, and the reality that our words and subsequent actions can deeply wound others. Overall, there may be the possibility of long standing effects which may not be able to be reversed. In turn, a sense of helplessness is created here, in addition to the obvious despair. The feelings of anger, hurt, and disillusionment are reflected throughout the song content. The message sent is very powerful and basically, stares you in the face, providing a significant message.
The lyrics lead us to believe that someone has had enough of recurrent emotional abuse occurring over time and is now getting ready to walk out. Someone appears to have made a relationship ending decision and is finally taking steps to take action. You begin to get a sense of the background where a woman seems to be facing up to her truth by examining her history of losing control, via hurtful, wounding words and actions towards someone close to her, whom she says she loves. It appears that she may have taken that someone for granted and now, may not be able to control what is happening. You are not able to determine if that someone also has their own history of engaging in emotional abusive interactions. Either way, here she is feeling a range of regrets, sadness and remorse, making desperate apologies, promising change and pleading for a reconsideration for that person to stay. You are unsure if she has a pattern of repeated sorrys that may have been meaningless. At the end of the song, you never really know if that person returns and if not, how she will ultimately deal with the loss. But even if you assume her words sound sincere, they unfortunately may be too little or coming too late to salvage the relationship.
For us, as the listeners, the message is a resounding wake up call for everyone to think about. And what an outstanding life lesson for us to consider, learn, and always try to remember. Losing your self control can frankly, be easy to do on a spontaneous basis. Everyone is dealing with ongoing stressors every day, especially in this trying, challenging time of Covid. It can be difficult to consistently handle your anger in an appropriate manner. It is quite normal to experience those bouts of anger and frustration, its a common human emotion that everyone experiences. However, it is what we do with our anger, how we understand and process our anger, and specifically, if, and how often we engage in negative behaviors that directly result from our anger. Sadly, displacement of anger frequently occurs without even realizing it. That is where the heartbreaking, wounding words can happen quickly and sometimes intensely. Can those simple, repeated expressions of apologetic words without actual change really make a difference?
Your filter becomes disengaged, and you lash out, many times unfairly to those you care for and actually have nothing to do with the true source of your anger. People who are peaceful or passive, people who do not routinely like to engage in argumentive behaviors with you, may be the targets. Why do we feel we may need to be forceful or aggressive to ‘win”? Why do we feel compelled to have to “win”? This can begin a hurtful, emotionally damaging pattern that starts up and can become impossible to control or work to eliminate. It calls for a steady, determined plan of looking inward, becoming personally aware, employing honest self discovery, and be ready to acknowledge those weaknesses. Then, it involves actively working on both your stress as well as anger management, with the eventual goal of changing it for the better. If you don’t employ those measures, and it continues, there may be a time when that person you care for, can’t tolerate the emotional abuse anymore, may give up on you, and exit your life forever. By taking that plan of action to change, and following through, what better way to take responsibility and show true appreciation, and value to those you love.
Takeaway Thought for the Week Ahead -
Takeaway positive thoughts empower you, give you strength, make you believe. Here is yours for the week. Say it, several times a day, every day, memorize it, write it down or put it in your phone. During the week, think about it, rely on it as you make it your own.
Hurtful words and actions can wound to the core, with some leading to lifelong regrets. Always take the time to be aware of your patterns concerning anger and self-control. Accept that personal change may be indicated. Take action where required concerning your personal stress and anger management needs.
I cannot stress enough, the tremendous power of affirmative positive thinking in life. Positive self-talk and empowering beliefs over time can seriously help us change the way we think about ourselves. Like the well known term, “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”, if we come to believe and act on it, it can become part of who you are, and what you want to be.
With "Please Don’t Leave Me" available to be on your personal playlist, it will be ready when you want to listen to it’s significant message!! Use it going forward!
Mindfulness & The Music/Questions to Ask Yourself & Self-Reflect -
After listening to the song, take some time and give these questions some serious thought. Your answers here will reveal a great deal to you going forward. Use this opportunity for helpful self reflection…
Have there been situations in your life where you have been wounded by words or actions? If so, what were the circumstances and why?
Have there been situations in your life where you have wounded others with your words or actions? If so, what were the circumstances and why?
Do you harbor regrets over the things you have said? Have any of them stayed with you?
Do you feel you have a good handle on your anger and stress management levels? If not, why do you feel that is? What could you realistically do to improve your self-control?
Do you have the habit of displacing your anger onto others around you? Describe what happens when that occurs. Do you take the time to stop and assess your anger before overreacting?
Do you feel you always need to “win” disagreements with others? If so, why is that so important to you?
Do you have the tendency to take others for granted in your life? If so, who are they and why do you do it?
Do you have difficulty giving apologies and showing genuine remorse to those you have wounded? What could you do better in that regard to show it to others?
How did your parents and family influence your anger threshold while growing up? Did they exhibit difficulty with self control?
Recommended Reading for the Week About Music & Song
“Empathetic People Use Social Brain Circuitry to Process Music” by Christopher Bergland, psychologytoday.com, June 18, 2018
-For additional reading resources click here Readings