According to You

Theme of the Week –

Building Self Esteem

Song of the Week –

"According to You" by Orianthi 

Song Therapeutics Analysis-

This song by Australian female guitarist Orianthi, is what I consider a perfect empowerment anthem for young women, and actually, women of all ages.  Sending out an important message that is never too early in life to hear.  Little girls need to start off the right way developing this positive mindset and let it grow stronger as they mature.  With all of us who care about them, taking the extra time to try to stop and notice, show interest, comment, praise and encourage will go a long way in helping them become resilient, independent, capable young women.  Simply put, the subject matter deals with instilling and nurturing an unshakable belief in self, and never letting it go.

Teen girls in particular are just starting out on their life journey, discovering who they are, and ultimately, who they want to be, going forward in life.  This developmental process can be somewhat tricky, as they begin to listen to their own inner voice but, they also listen to the voices or opinions of others about them.  If those opinions are positive or affirmative, it is wonderful, it builds them up and strengthens their self esteem.  The problem here is, when those opinions become negative, harsh, or critical, what does it leave them with?  Feelings of self doubt, indecision, anxiety, lack of self confidence, and so much more, basically, all negative messages to absorb.  The real danger is, if this harmful feedback continues, in time you come to believe what you hear.  In reality, for teen girls, this can often be a troubling message given out from boyfriends, that they sadly may accept as truth.

No matter how bright and competent the girls are, if they are constantly bombarded with these negative, critical, recurrent messages from others, they run the risk of not only believing it, but becoming it.  This is where developing true empowerment is an absolute necessity, especially in today’s complicated world.  Don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re not good enough, smart enough, capable, interesting, personable, attractive.  This is an obvious flashing hazard sign.  If they start to give you those messages, it is a signal to seriously consider walking away from them as quickly as possible.  You know who you are and what you are capable of.  We don’t need people in our world there to bring us down and make us feel bad about ourselves.  Life is difficult enough without that added negativity.  We need people in our life who make us better.  Relationships, friends, family, people who regularly encourage us, support us, fortify, and believe in us.  You have it all stored within you.  You just have to stay aware, relax, and bring it out in your own way.

This is great catchy song that does a nice job touching on a variety of important issues that young women may struggle with, as they go about building their overall self image.  Besides promoting this genuine self love and awareness, it reflects a spirit of positivity, never giving up, and being the best you can possibly be.  Learning to acknowledge and focus on your many strengths and not dwell your weaknesses.  Realizing that acknowledging and working on your weaknesses will make you stronger as a result.  It also deals with the possibility of making a decision to consider leaving a dysfunctional romantic relationship that ends up causing you self doubt and anxiety.  Not settling for those toxic relationships but, instead, searching out those that reflect and praise you for who you really are.  Contentment and satisfaction are the desired results, rather than anxiety and second-guessing.  This song definitely promotes the power of honest, assertive, direct communication and standing up for yourself, no matter what.  I find true empowerment as the primary message eluding from the lyrics throughout this entire song.  I smile and just feel like shouting out “You go girl!!!”after I finish listening.  Before others can truly love and appreciate you, yes, you have to truly love and appreciate yourself.  It frankly starts and ends with you.  When you think about it, it’s such a beautiful thing, so, celebrate all you are, and are capable of !!

Takeaway Thought for the Week Ahead -

Takeaway positive thoughts empower you, give you strength, make you believe. Here is yours for the week. Say it, several times a day, every day, memorize it, write it down or put it in your phone. During the week, think about it, rely on it as you make it your own.

Don’t ever let anyone, anywhere take away your belief in yourself! Don’t let anyone, anywhere define who you really are! No one knows and understands you better than yourself, so…believe in your strengths, your positives, your possibilities, because your endless potential awaits…Your future is there for you to create and nurture, so do your best to make it happen! And never, ever forget, you have got this!  

I cannot stress enough, the tremendous power of affirmative positive thinking in life. Positive self-talk and empowering beliefs over time can seriously help us change the way we think about ourselves. Like the well known term, “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”, if we come to believe and act on it, it can become part of who you are, and what you want to be.

With "According to You" available to be on your personal playlist, it will be ready when you want to listen to it’s significant message!! Use it going forward!

Mindfulness & The Music/Questions to Ask Yourself & Self-Reflect -

After listening to the song, take some time and give these questions some serious thought. Your answers here will reveal a great deal to you going forward. Use this opportunity for helpful self reflection…

Do you experience periods of self doubt, and if so, when does this happen?

Do people in your world tend to discourage you and make you feel you are not good enough?  If so, describe what happens when that occurs.

Why do you feel you allow that to happen?  How long have you felt that way?

Describe your personal self-esteem inventory.  What do you think is lacking?

Do you believe your strengths outweigh your weaknesses? Or, vice versa?

Can you acknowledge and make a list of all your strengths and think about them daily?

Do you feel you are generally passive or assertive in your interactions with others?

If you are passive, why do you feel you stand back and let others make decisions for you?

Can you attempt to be more assertive with your communication style? Can you become a more honest, direct, calm, and pleasant communicator?

Do you need to surround yourself more with others who are positive towards you, encouraging and supporting you on an ongoing basis.

Do you feel your parents and family promoted a healthy self esteem within you growing up?  If not, why not?





Recommended Reading for the Week About Music & Song

Hindsight (& All the Things I Can’t See in Front of Me) by Justin Timberlake

-For additional reading resources click here Readings


The Songtherapeutics website provides a weekly interpretation of various song lyrics. The interpretations reflect solely Songtherapeutics’ views, not necessarily the composer’s views. The Songtherapeutics website is intended to provide a source of general information to individuals for educational purposes. Although some individuals may find the information to be thought provoking and enlightening, and some lyric interpretations may assist some individuals with self awareness, self-discovery and comfort, the website is not intended to provide, nor does it provide, specific advice or guidance to any individual. It is not intended to address, nor does it address, any specific individual’s circumstances or condition. The Songtherapeutics website is not intended to furnish, nor does it furnish, professional psychotherapy or counseling, or furnish medical, legal , spiritual, or any other form of professional counseling therapy. The Songtherapeutics website is not, nor is it it intended to be, a substitute or replacement for psychological therapeutic intervention for any individual. No therapist/client relationship or counseling relationship is intended to be formed or is being formed with any individual visiting this website. Anyone sensing that they could benefit from consulting with or establishing a relationship with a therapist, social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist for his or her specific needs should do so as their personal decision. No individual should disregard the advice of his or her therapist, or delay seeking any form of professional therapy, on the basis of any information or lyric interpretation presented on the Songtherapeutics website.